I find it somewhat shocking that I have time to sit down and write today as it’s my first official day of maternity leave all on my own! Matthew took two weeks to be home with us after the birth of our sweet Eloise, but he is back to work today… on his birthday no less. Even though this morning was completely hectic getting Clara to her group class and picking her up on time between nursing, pumping, and ordering birth announcements, I feel the need to take advantage of the girls’ nap time to give a blog shoutout to my awesome husband. He’s my rock, and I certainly couldn’t do what I’m doing (with my kids, with my job, or in life in general!) without him.
As I browse through all the adorable pictures I’ve taken in the past two weeks, two of them stick out to me. I haven’t shown them to anyone (including Matthew!) until now because I knew this post was coming.
This first picture was taken when Eloise was just four days old. We were in the midst of the jaundice chaos and I snapped this in the parking garage of the hospital. I wasn’t allowed to lift anything heavier than Ellie, which unfortunately included both her carseat and our toddler. Clara was being her regular two-year-old self and not completely complying with our expectation to move in some kind of general direction of the car, so he scooped her up while carrying the baby at the same time. It may not seem like much, but in that moment, my husband was also my knight in shining armor. He single handedly saved me from the stress of the moment and the compounding stress of the situation.
I snapped this second picture on Friday morning after dragging my lazy butt out of bed just before 9am. Matthew had taken Eloise downstairs around 6am to let me get some sleep, something he always did with Clara during the newborn stage as well, and something every new mom can probably agree is so (so, so, so) appreciated! Upon waking, I stumbled upon this beautiful moment and I just couldn’t help myself from snagging this keepsake photo. I just feel like this picture, this moment, is the definition of love in our family.
You see, the dad always gets the short end of the stick in parenting. There are even memes out there about dads who “babysit” their kids which, in my opinion, could not be more ridiculous… the last time I checked, whenever my husband is hanging out with the kids, it’s called parenting. The truth is, Clara and Eloise’s dad is very much 50% of the equation, and sometimes even more. Sure, I carried them both inside of me, and yes, we adapt to newborns in different ways, but that doesn’t lessen the bond that he has with our daughters. As my partner, he feels what I feel, he struggles when I struggle, and he triumphs when I triumph. As their dad, he feels what they feel, he struggles when they struggle, and he very much triumphs when they triumph. There is no doubt in my mind that he would lay down his life for any of us and watching him with them is my greatest joy I’ve ever known. The last time I wrote, it was about the joys and struggles of being a new mom, and being a new dad (though I’ve never had the actual chance to experience it) is no different. I’ve seen Matthew grow into the greatest dad ever, but it didn’t come easy to him either. With Clara, he was unsure of what to do or how to bond with her. It was something that we struggled a great deal with as a couple. It has been a bit easier this time, partly because we knew what to expect and partly because we know that this newborn stage just isn’t his jam and that’s okay. He knows and I know that once Eloise grows into more of a little person, they will become inseparable, just like he is with Clara. Until then, I know he will continue to nurture our sweet baby, help distract our active toddler, and support me through good times and not-so-good times. So to new moms and to new dads, my advice is this: find comfort in one another and be sure to communicate. You’re in the weeds now, but in the blink of an eye, everything will be different. You’ll face new joys and new challenges together as you begin to shape your little people into who they’re meant to be.
To my amazing partner in crime and pillar of strength: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the best father to our girls and the best husband I could ever have hoped for. I love watching you with them every day and I know I will love doing so for the rest of my life. Teaching them to ride their bikes will soon be teaching them how to drive and walking with them at the park will soon be walking them down the aisle. I mean it when I say that I wouldn’t want that person by their side or by mine to be anyone other than you.
Happy Birthday, Daddy!
Love, Mommy, Chief & Ellie
