Summer 2020 will likely go down in the history books as one that mothers everywhere never want to think about again. Where there should be princess camps and trips to the zoo, we have been left with socially distanced gatherings at best, and a couple of extra freeze pops every day to keep the kids quiet. Some days, I’m tremendously grateful that I have young children; I know they will never remember living through this pandemic, and with the exception of Clara’s vague understanding of the CoronaVirus being why we can’t see her cousins, this crazy life we’ve come to know is basically normal for them. After all, of Eloise’s sixteen months of life, six of them have been in quarantine. Then there are of course the days when I wish so badly that my children were older and even slightly more capable of entertaining themselves, pouring their own drinks, or even going up and down the stairs without needing a spotter every time. Working is nearly impossible unless we give in to the magic of Disney + or call on Grammie for what seems like the billionth time in one week. But through the longest days, there are moments to be treasured. In the most trying times of my adult life, when I question every choice I make for my girls and I desperately want to set up playdates, bring them on adventures, and give them the experiences that I know they should be having, I have to remind myself to take a step back, take a breath, and take a mental picture of these perfect moments.
If it weren’t for quarantine, my girls wouldn’t be spending so much time with my parents. After all, Grammie and Grampa’s house is really the only place other than our own home where we have agreed it’s safe to spend extended amounts of time. And, they have a pool! For us, it’s entertainment and an extra set of hands in addition to time spent with family. For our girls, however, it’s simply the greatest place on earth. Today, Clara swam without her swimmies in the deep end of the pool. She kicked her feet with all her might and once she reached the edge, she went back for more. She is fearless, determined, and strong. While her sister conquers the pool, Eloise has mastered the art of popsicle consumption as well as the puppy dog eyes that will keep the popsicles coming. She is smart, mischievous, and oh-so-adorable.
These days, my babies chronically smell of sunscreen and sweet citrus, even after taking a bath. Breathing in the scent of their heads is enough to make me swoon, and on the most difficult of days, it’s enough to bring me back to a very harsh reality: these days certainly will not last forever and so they must be cherished while they’re here. A portrait of childhood innocence, they spend their days with hair (or in Eloise’s case, lack thereof) slicked to their skin with sweat and pool drippings, and they have both developed adorable baby tans on their legs despite consistent SPF applications. They’re learning to play together too; Eloise copies everything her big sister does but Clara has started to take the time to show her baby sister how to do it right. They fill watering cans and redistribute the contents as if they’re on a top secret government mission. They dance together, spinning around and around until they tumble onto the deck in an adorable fit of laughter. Somehow, under the bright summer sun, without me even realizing it, they became best friends.
Day after day after day, Clara asks to go to Grammie and Grampa’s house. And day after day after day, we bring them. We cannot bring them to their friends’ houses, to an amusement park or really even to a playground. How I wish we could meet up with the rest of our family for a trip to a museum or aquarium, but those adventures will simply have to wait until it’s safe. And while I’m convinced my kids feel like they’re missing out in some way, the truth is that Clara isn’t asking to go to any of those places. She’s asking to see people, of course, but that’s different. She loves fiercely and deeply, and she wants to see those whom she loves. She misses so many people, specifically Nana and Papa, who we have finally been able to see a little more often, her cousins, and her friends from school. She understands that we’re staying away to keep everyone safe. And with that being said, she also understands that the only thing that stands between her and the pool this summer is a little bit of thunder. So yes, while I know I never want to go through something like this ever again, I’m also quite certain that I will look back on the summer of 2020 with a little bit of nostalgia. The summer Clara learned to swim and Eloise learned to talk. The summer of chlorine hair, custom-built Adirondack chairs, and late night uno tournaments after the girls have gone to bed. The summer of sugar highs and marshmallow roasting. The summer our family learned that it’s okay to just be, because sometimes that’s the only thing we can do. And just being with these people is the only thing I ever want to do.
