Many months ago, I wrote about the nightly message with which I send my girls off to sleep: you are smart, you are kind, you are important, you are brave, you are strong, you are beautiful, and you are loved. While Eloise is still working to find her words, Clara has internalized this message and often finishes it for me. She likes to say every other word, she tells me, it’s a pattern. And you know what else it is? It’s working. When she plays with her dolls or her beloved unicorn, I can hear her whispering, you are brave, you are strong, as she puts them down for their rests. She kisses her doll gently on the forehead, she rubs its little nose, and she says, you are loved. Only a little girl who genuinely believes something about herself will try to share the same beliefs with her toys.
Eloise embodies my words more than ever these days. She shows that she is smart when she points to all the items in her books when we ask her to identify them- ranging from trains to sleep and everything in between, she may not know how to say the word, but she knows what it means. She’s kind, when she wants to be, to her doggie and sometimes, even her sister. She believes herself to be the most important person in any room at any given time, and she will make it known if she thinks you disagree even for a second. She is both brave and strong, probably more so than I would hope a one-year-old to be, but I guess that bodes well for her future? At this point in her young life, she’s lucky that she’s beautiful. It helps to forgive her mischief. (The “art” on our walls, on the other hand, is equally as beautiful but slightly less easy to forgive.) And oh, never have two girls been so loved in all the world.
I want them to go through life embodying those words. When they are faced with challenges or judgements, I want them to know that they can come out stronger on the other side as long as they believe in themselves. But still, there was something missing. The events that took place in our nation this month have inspired me to inspire them, and so, I’ve added a little more to their nightly message. (I know, at this rate, I’ll be reciting an hour’s worth of affirmations by the time Clara is six, but that’s okay.) If for even the slightest moment these words resonate with my girls, then I have done my job. So now, in addition to celebrating their strength and bravery, honoring their importance in this world, and recognizing how much they mean to us, I instill upon them the most honest and real truth: You. Can. Do. Anything.
I think there are times in every person’s life when they doubt themselves in some way; it’s human nature. I know there will be times when my girls doubt their own abilities, despite my seemingly endless affirmations. I’ve been there myself a time or two (hundred? thousand?), questioning whether I can be successful, wondering if I have what it takes. And, as it turns out, I do. I do have what it takes because thirty-five years into this life, I have always survived the pain, overcome the struggle, and conquered the challenges. I may not have always felt strong or brave, but I was. I may not have always believed that I was important or even smart, but life is looking pretty good these days, and I know even more is in store for our family’s future. These two little girls will grow into big girls who grow into young women, who maybe, just maybe, can change the world somehow. But only if they believe that it’s possible. We must ensure that they believe it when we tell them that they can do anything. But, how?
It’s not enough to tell them. We, the women in our daughters’ lives, must show them. We must model moxie. We must present perseverance. Embody Endurance. Give rise to Grit. Our girls need us, more than ever, to show spunk and formulate fortitude. And while we are doing all of those things, we need to give them even more examples. Because if Amanda Gorman can overcome a speech impediment to inspire the nation with her words, then I want Eloise to know that. She can take all the time she needs to find her voice, because once she does, I want her to know that she too can move mountains with her words. If Greta Thunberg’s neurodiversity helped catapult her into the international spotlight, then I want Clara to know that. She can carry her diagnosis proudly, and when the opportunity presents itself, she too can stand up for what she believes without wavering.
It truly is an exciting time to be a woman. As I write this, I listen to Eliza reminding me, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now. So whether it’s exploring space, reinventing education, standing up for truths or whatever other passions to which they devote themselves, my girls will believe that they can do anything. May it be through art, invention, laughter or music, technology, science, writing, or advocacy, by paving the way for others in large ways or small, my girls will believe that they can do anything. Because believing anything less is simply not an option for them.
