We all wore blue yesterday. Our family’s very first Autism Awareness Day after the diagnosis! We were going to celebrate our amazing Clara by visiting the Easter Bunny and going out to dinner, a Tuesday Night of family fun! It couldn’t be just a coincidence that her amazing Easter outfit is entirely blue, complete with a bunny tutu and a pom pom bunny tail on the shirt. (To Clara, that outfit is what dreams are made of. It. Doesn’t. Get. Any. Better.) Daddy would leave a bit early from work and Mommy would quickly go to her weekly OB checkup before helping Clara into her tutu. This may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but sometimes life doesn’t work out as you plan. Sometimes your plans fall through. Sometimes you’re is running late. Sometimes your kid gets diagnosed with Autism. And sometimes, you just can’t get to see the Easter Bunny on a Tuesday night.
I arrived on time to my doctor’s appointment and actually texted my mom that the appointment would be quick so she should have Clara ready in no time! My doctor, whom I absolutely love, had a student working with her. The student was lovely, but she seemed to struggle to find a regular heartbeat for the baby. Everything happened rather quickly from that point on. I don’t think anything is really wrong, but I just want to be 100% sure that at 37 weeks, your baby is absolutely perfect. They took my heart rate, which was high. They hooked me up to the fetal monitors just to get a baseline. The nurse who monitored me was not only lovely but also graduated high school with me, hello blast from the past! After twenty minutes, my doctor couldn’t gauge a standard baseline for The Nugget’s heart rate. Your baby is crazy today! The heartbeat is all over the place. No worries though, if we can’t figure out what’s happening, we’ll just send you over to labor and delivery and we can just induce. We can just induce? I have not packed a hospital bag. I don’t know where the car seat is or if it’s clean. My husband isn’t responding to my texts. I have to go visit the Easter Bunny.
Over to ultrasound I go, feeling less and less confident about really anything. The ultrasound technician was lovely, but she couldn’t detect any movement. I also couldn’t feel any movement. The heart was still beating, but it was still quite irregular. My doctor came in and tried to wake up The Nugget. Nothing.
When was the last time you ate? Well. Honestly. It was 8am. I’m just now in this moment realizing I forgot to eat lunch.
[Side note Rant: I’ve always wondered how people forget to eat. Literally I feel like my whole life revolves around food. What I just ate, and more importantly, what I’m going to eat next. I love food wayyy more than I love being a size six, and it often shows. That’s another perk of being pregnant, by the way. You can eat and eat and no one judges, not even yourself. Today was the first time in the history of my existence that I forgot a meal. I am trying so hard to bang out all my teacher evaluations before this baby arrives. I’m trying so hard to keep on top of evaluations and meetings, student and parent concerns, attendance issues. I’m trying so hard to tie up all loose ends for my colleagues before I leave, which at this point it’s pretty clear could be any day now. But really, is that an excuse to forget to EAT lunch? Lunch = Life. But I digress.]
Yeahhh, you need to eat something. Insert peanut butter crackers and sugary (read: delicious) cranberry juice cocktail. We’ll be back in five minutes.
Back to ultrasound I go. The Nugget is bouncing around, practicing breathing actions, and its heartbeat is fairly regular. More bouncing. Wow, that foot is huge. More movement. There’s the elbow! So much more movement. That’s a strong heart. Wow, you have an active baby in there. Yes, and aside from the fact that it currently resides in my uterus, I’ve never been more sure that this child is mine. Its life also revolves around food. Our first official real bonding moment! The doctor said it best: Go home. All you needed was sugar. Please don’t forget to eat anymore.
After I got home, the husband and I debated briefly via text message whether I had just had a nerve-racking afternoon or a nerve-wrecking afternoon before ultimately deciding that he had too much work to do and I was in no mood for Easter Bunny-ing. (I, for the record, was correct. It’s nerve-racking.) Clara seemed completely content to watch The Incredibles and asked to have a hotdog and milk for dinner. Daddy picked up takeout on the way home from work for Mommy, and there you have it. All’s well that ends well on Autism Awareness Day 2019. Maybe this little family will have their shit together enough to celebrate next year, because it is definitely something worth celebrating in our opinion. All four of us will wear blue. All four of us will praise our amazing Clara and the inevitable and impressive progress she will have made by then. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll all remember to eat lunch.
