To my sweet girl, happiness could probably be defined by one simple thing: a warm, slobbery kiss from her favorite doggie. These two have been best buds since before she was born.
Francesca joined our family in 2013, three and a half years before she would meet her soul mate. She has been changing our lives and shedding her way onto our couches and into our hearts ever since then. In fact, before Clara was born, Chesie was my baby and my relationship with her was the closest thing I had ever known to motherhood. One of our favorite stories from my pregnancy with Clara actually stems from my irrational fear that our baby wouldn’t love our dog. (Spoiler Alert: I could not have been more wrong.) Amazon decided to kick my pregnancy hormones up a few notches by releasing that terribly heart wrenching yet simultaneously beautiful commercial about the family with the new baby. You know the one- the baby is afraid of the dog until her dad buys the adorable lion costume. This one. If you haven’t seen it, you should watch it now, as it’s quite adorable. Unless you’re a pregnant dog-lover. Then avoid it at all costs. Trust me.
It was love at first sight, for both of them.
Since bringing home our baby human, our goofy, aloof, gentle giant has watched over her dutifully. They share everything, from smiles to snacks, from laughter to love. Of course I would like to think that Clara loves her mom and dad more than anything in the world, but I honestly believe the husband and I are tied for the number two spot. Number one source of joy, happiness and love? That slot goes to the dog. Again, don’t believe me?
…. How about now?
My second pregnancy has been different than my first. I remember being much more nauseous with Clara, but I don’t remember feeling so emotionally unstable as I have with The Nugget. I suppose one of the most beautiful things about motherhood is that the female brain tends to repress the worst parts of pregnancy and hopefully of labor! I keep saying things like, Wow, it wasn’t this bad with Clara. My husband just rolls his eyes and responds, Yes. Yes it was. It was worse. I suppose he’s right if I was losing my mind over an Amazon commercial… My thoughts, hopes, fears and dreams are all a little different now than they were with Clara. I think a lot about the transition from one to two children. The first day that we bring home a new baby. The first weeks and months that were so hard with one, how will we be able to do it with two?! Will Clara love the new baby? (Sound familiar?) Will she understand that no matter what, we will always love her? I hope the baby sleeps well. I hope the baby completes our family in the way we’ve always hoped for. I hope the baby doesn’t have Autism. I’m afraid that Clara will resent the new addition to our family. I’m afraid I’ll lose my temper with one or both of them from the lack of sleep. I’m afraid that this will cause Clara’s progress to slow, or dare I say, regress. I dream that they’ll be best friends, shoulders to cry on, partners in (not-so-serious) crime and each other’s biggest support system. I dream of bringing them to Disney and watching their eyes light up so bright. I dream of taking 382 pictures of them on Christmas morning to get just one of them both looking at the camera. I dream of their happiness, both collective and individual.
Bringing home my first baby was scary. Will I be a good mom? (Yes.) Can I do this? (Hell yes.) Will she love the dog? (We’ve already covered this. You’re killing me, Amazon.) Will I ever learn to swaddle her as well as Matthew can? (No. Thank GOD for swaddle sacks!) Did I really need to be sobbing on the bathroom floor because I couldn’t swaddle her? (No. But that’s okay.) Does it get easier? (Yes.) Does it simultaneously get harder? (Yup, sure does.)
Five more weeks until the due date. Actually, four weeks and six days, but who’s counting? Is our little family of three + dog + cat ready to become a family of FOUR + dog + cat? I suppose we’re as ready as we’ll ever be! Come on, Nugget. Let’s do this! If this is any sign of how our family members adapt to new additions, I don’t really have anything to be afraid of now, do I?
