They say that people with Autism have difficulty recognizing, understanding, sympathizing with and/or empathizing with others’ emotions. I can’t really say I agree with this stereotype. They also say if you’ve met one person with Autism, then you’ve met one person with Autism. This one, however, I can get behind more than ever, as you will soon see how Clara defies yet another Autism mold!
Our summer vacation together has been off to a lovely start. The girls and I have been spending plenty of quality time together and I must say that I’m absolutely loving it. It has been so enlightening to watch my little Clara make such huge improvements through her ABA therapy schedule, and although her 5x/week services sometimes make me feel like a prisoner in my own home, I can also see the tremendous growth that we were hoping for! In addition to playing outside with our doggie, swimming together in Grammie’s pool, and learning to care for our very own garden, Clara and I have also begun to conquer the world of mother-daughter cooking! On the menu the other night: fish fry! As it turns out, however, one needs oil with a high smoke point to properly fry fish. Though I was certain we didn’t have peanut oil, I thought we may have had a bottle of canola hiding out in one of the cupboards, so I began a quick search. Not in the pantry. Not in the spice cabinet. Maybe behind the… And then it happened. The jar of marinara sauce slipped from my hands faster than I could react. It hit not just the counter but also my phone that was displaying the recipe. No, luckily the bottle didn’t break, but the same could not be said for the screen of my iPhone, for which we of course do not have AppleCare. Never having cracked a screen in all my years of owning touch screen devices, I was pretty miffed to say the least. I sat down on the stairs and the best way to describe my reaction, you wonder? I pouted. I had a pity party for myself. I cried like a toddler would when her favorite toy breaks. And then, the most magical thing happened.
Upon recognizing that something had gone wrong, Clara approached me with caution and rested her hand on my shoulder.
It’s okay, Mommy. You scared, Mommy?
No, I’m not scared. I’m sad.
You sad you break your phone Mommy?
Yes, I’m sad that I broke my phone.
No be sad Mommy. You fix the phone. It’s okay, Mommy.
Thank you honey, but it’s not easy to fix a phone.
Wait, Mommy! Wait!
Clara lurched upstairs as fast as her little legs could carry her. I felt a little deserted, honestly. She had been working so hard (and so adorably) to make me feel better, and then she just seemed to give up. But just as quickly as she had left, I heard her padding back down the stairs.
Here, Mommy! You have Clara’s phone! No fix Mommy’s phone! New phone!
And in her hand was her plastic toy phone that came as a part of her kitchen set. The phone that she adores. The phone that fits perfectly into the notch in her kitchen counter. The phone that she uses to “call” Grammie and Papa, and the one that we sometimes order pizza and whole roasted chickens from when we accidentally over-boil our pie or lemons. She just gave it up without thinking twice, and she rested her hand back on my shoulder as soon as she handed it to me. It brought more tears to my eyes, but this time they were tears of joy. With a thankful heart, I hugged my sweet girl tightly. She kept telling me it was okay, probably because she assumed I was still crying about my damn phone (which part of my was, but let’s not go there…) That night after she went to bed, I truly reflected on the moment and realized how far my sweet babe has come. Not only was she able to produce the language necessary to convey her thoughts, but she also recognized what had happened both physically and emotionally, took the time to hear me out, and then developed and executed her proposed solution. To say I’m proud of her doesn’t give my feelings justice. She continues to blow my mind, shape my life, and open my heart wider and wider each day.
Never did find the canola oil, by the way. Turns out, cod can be pretty delicious on the grill, especially when prepared by a toddler!
