Four.

Tonight, I find myself having some pretty vivid flashbacks.  Matthew is downstairs building her big girl bicycle; shiny, pink, and complete with streamers on the handlebars, a basket and of course, a bell.  It will surely be the hit of the day tomorrow.  After returning from the store for a last minute procurement of balloons, I find myself compelled to write.   Roughly four years ago yesterday, I went for a pedicure.  As a first time soon-to-be-mom, I felt it important to look my best for childbirth, as if anyone in the delivery room would care!  […]

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You Are Loved

As any of my loyal readers know, the name of this project stemmed from the way I would put Clara to bed long before Eloise was even born.  She is, and always has been, a lover of stars.  When Clara was learning to talk, one of the first things she zeroed in on was the concept of stars.  She would look up into the night sky, point, and say “Stars!” And so, it came to be that each night when tucking her in, I would tell her that I love her more than all the […]

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2020: Reinventing Education and Motherhood

Okay, you win. Taking a new job in the midst of a once-in-a-lifetime,  international pandemic, may not have been the smartest thing I’ve ever done in my life.  Or was it?   Since March 11, 2020, the world of education has been turned upside down.  Every person who works in every school, definitely in the state, probably the country, and possibly the world, is  feeling lost and overwhelmed right now. Educators are doing their best in an impossible situation, myself included.  We are designing what virtual learning should look like and comparing that to what it […]

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August.

As long as I can remember, August has been one of my favorite months. Despite the dog days of summer heat, it’s a time of anticipation and excitement. My mom and I developed a professional partnership during our annual Back-to-School Shopping trips which probably began as early as preschool. When I was going into Kindergarten, we purchased my very first First Day of School Outfit: a maroon bodysuit top and a coordinating floral, wait for it… skort. (That’s right, I’ve always lived with a certain amount of swagger.) As the years progressed, so did the […]

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Quarantine Summer

Summer 2020 will likely go down in the history books as one that mothers everywhere never want to think about again. Where there should be princess camps and trips to the zoo, we have been left with socially distanced gatherings at best, and a couple of extra freeze pops every day to keep the kids quiet. Some days, I’m tremendously grateful that I have young children; I know they will never remember living through this pandemic, and with the exception of Clara’s vague understanding of the CoronaVirus being why we can’t see her cousins, this […]

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The Spectrum Rainbow

Alright my faithful readers, since we are approaching the end of Autism Awareness Month, I felt compelled to share some important information through a few images that are particularly helpful when trying to understand those living with Autism. First, the image that we all believe to be true:  I admit, before Autism became a part of my life, I believed this image to be accurate. If the Autism spectrum truly presented in this way, then Clara would be very much toward the white end in terms of how others experience her. At the age of […]

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School’s Out

As long as I can remember, the last day of school before summer vacation has been a treasured moment. Long before I could even understand the joy of that day in June, I could read it on my dad’s face. A public school teacher for over forty years, to this day, he still works as a high school substitute. To an educator, it’s more than just open season for beach days. (Don’t get me wrong, it is totally about open season for beach days, but all I’m saying is that it’s more than just that.) […]

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International Autism Awareness Day: 2020

It’s 10pm on International Autism Awareness Day. The last thing I should be doing right now is writing because I’m dog tired. Tired from working longer hours than maybe ever in my lifetime, both professionally and personally. Like everyone out there reading this, I’m sure. But then again, it’s totally normal for me to be writing after the rest of my family has gone to sleep, especially since the world closed down. I haven’t been sleeping well, or at least I haven’t been able to fall asleep easily. My mind wanders, and despite my best […]

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An Open Letter to My Husband During Quarantine

Ten years ago, I never would have thought I would find myself here. With you. Ten years ago, I was a silly, careless girl who was looking for love without even knowing what love was. Our first five years together showed me what love was, or at least what it was for me at that point in my life. You showed me that someone outside of my family could know me and  care for me beyond the surface level, maybe even more than I cared for myself. Which is why when you asked me to […]

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March Seventh

One year ago, we drove our sweet Clara to Boston, MA for a neuropsych evaluation at Boston Children’s Hospital. Matthew and I weren’t particularly worried or even nervous because she had made so much progress in the months leading up to the appointment. The evaluation lasted for what seemed like forever, but we were happy about that. We finally felt like all of Clara’s skills were really being assessed, and maybe even appreciated. We sat back as the pediatrician and psychologist performed various tests, intermittently asking us questions but for the most part, letting Clara […]

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